How to Kitten Proof Your House

My cats have discovered the upstairs bathroom. As you can imagine, this could only lead to disaster.

They've successfully chewed (yes, chewed) their through two roles of toilet paper! I don't know if they're teething or what but lately they've REALLY been into chewing things. I thought that was just dogs! When I've got my face in a book Jinx will chew his way through that book (I guess he's just jealous, that book being in his usual spot in my lap). The Cottonelle puppy totally doesn't desevere to be on the toilet paper package. It would be much more accurate to put a kitten on the package.

At least something good came out of their chewing. Its inspired me to come up with ways to "kitten proof your house" a list that I sure wish I could have had when I first got my babies.

How To Kitten Proof Your House

* When your clean their litter box (a delicate art that often takes years to master) make sure to put them in another room or enclosed area. Should you forget this tip it will result in your kittens desperately trying to knock their own poop (you read that right) out of the scooper. Though you might want to try letting them at it once because their cute little kitten determation will is just adorable!

* PUT THE TOILET PAPER UP HIGH! Or better yet, keep the bathroom door closed at all times.

*Do not leave anything dangling (especially not your brand new purple wig that your using for your Halloween costume, or they'll rip it to shreds). This will tempt them terribly and they will not be able to resist pouncing and tearing something apart that you'll have to vacuum up later.

* Keep all puzzles up high. I mean high, because these suckers can (and will) climb to get what they want. Trust me, do not leave your almost-finished-just-twenty-pieces-left puzzle out where they can reach. I speak from experience.

They may sound like a lot of work. But they don't cause trouble on purpose. You know that phrase 'curisoity killed the cat'? Whoever said that really knew what he was talking about. But it's worth it. When you have those moments cuddled up with them, puring and soft, you know it's worth it.

Sabertooth V.S. The Mad Hatter

You know it's really Halloween season when you go to your Grandma's and find her freezer is stocked with Reese's. Yes, it's finally here. The time of year to stuff your face with candy and howl at the moon. I'm still not sure what I'm going to dress-up as this year. My mom's going to be Joan Jett and Lennon's going as Dracula (he has declined all of my offers to lend him my body glitter so he can sparkle like Twilight vampire, Edward Cullen, despite how many times I've tried to convince him).

I'm thinking about being Sabertooth (due to my past obsession) but he doesn't really have a signature look. He pretty much just wears a trench coat the whole movie. He does have those gross nails and sharp front teeth but, then again, he's bald and it would be kind of hard for me to pull that off. Plus, it's really no fun to be Sabertooth if you don't have a Wolverine to yell at (which is pretty much what they do half the movie).

Another contender is the Mad Hatter. He's really zany so it would be totally fun to be him. He's got a crazy costume, though. But that's kind of the point of Halloween. It's one night that you get to be someone else. Someone totally opposite of who you really are. It's kind of magical, really, the fact that you can transform, even if it's just for one night. That's part of the reason I kind of want to be a male character this year.

Mom suggested that I be a TV. I could get a big cardboard box and cut holes for my face and arms. And I could drive everybody crazy by signing the Wonder Pets theme song over and over again.......

Aww, the choices.

Furry Angels with Tails and Devil Horns

I call them my babies. My mother calls them Jingles (due to the annoying bells attached to their collars). You would call them......Kittens! Yes, we adopted two new family members. It might be easier to describe their complex personalities by making them profiles. So, here it goes!

Name: Jinx, after the character in a Meg Cabot (one of my favorite authors) book with the same name.

Sex: Male

Fur Color: Ashy white

Eye Color: Light Blue

Build: Jinx is definitely the fatter one! Our vet says we should be feeding them only twice a day but I think I've been feeding him every time he meows for it. Which is, like, five times a day maybe. The vet says his already overweight (oops!)

Personality: I think Jinx is the Alfa male (judging by the way he dominates the food bowl). He LOVES to sleep and be cradled like a baby. One time I was holding him and I put him down on my bed because I had to use the bathroom. He followed me there and waited patiently next to the toilet the whole time I was using it. When I picked him back up he fell promptly back to sleep in my arms. He also likes to play. He enjoys wrestling with his brother

(this is an especially amusing sight).

Jinx is very bossy and is used to getting his way. If he's hungry he'll start crying and he'll follow you all around the house trying to trip you until you feed him. I've explained to him countless times that he's supposed to be on a diet but he just doesn't seem to get it. But it's worth it. You know, when you have those moments with them all cuddling up with you on your lap so nice and soft and warm. He's a furry angel with devil horns.

Name: Forrest (as in Gump)

Sex: Male

Fur Color: Mostly black, but he has a white spot on his neck and his face is almost totally white

Eye Color: Yellowish green

Build: Forrest is sort of scrawny. When we first go him we could see his ribs. He's normal weight now but still way skinnier than Jinx.

Personality: Forrest is Lennon's cat so he probably knows him better but I'll write what I know. Forrest is probably skinnier because he's a heck of a lot more active. Once, he saw a fly buzzing around in my room and you could tell just by looking at his face that he was totally determined to catch it. And, much to the shock of us all, he did. I'm serious! He leapt into the air and caught the fly in between his claws. Then, much to the disgust of us all, HE ATE IT! I know, gross. Forrest, even though he's skinnier than Jinx, will eat anything. I found a popcorn seed in his poop once. He is also very protective over His Mouse. His Mouse is this stuffed mouse that he absolutely loves. It's his favorite toy and he won't let Jinx touch it.

The babies also love each other. One of the sweetest sights I've witnessed is when Jinx was upstairs sleeping in my room and Forrest was downstairs, crying. Jinx lifted his head and sprang from the bed and rushed to Forrest who immediately clashed into to his brother and began a fur-flying wrestle. To qoute 'X-Men Origins', they totally have the "We're brothers, Jimmy. And brothers look out for each other" thing going on.